A question I am repeatedly asked, “what should I say to someone who has recently lost their pet.” Last February I wrote a blog on my website regarding what “not to say”. This is information that we can all learn from so I've decided to post it again.
I HAVE LEARNED THAT SOMETIMES SILENCE IS GOLDEN
Grieving is not a comfortable place to be, whether you have suffered the loss or you are supporting a family member or friend. I believe we all yearn to show compassion and have well-meaning intentions; however, unfortunately sometimes our words fall a little short.
To help you out, below is a short list of things not to say:
· Do not tell someone that their pet is in a better place, to the one who is grieving their pet is not; the only place which is better is with them.
· Do not tell someone that their pet is no longer suffering; though they do not want their pet to suffer, they do want their pet to be with them.
· Do not tell someone that time will heal all, time has nothing to do with healing a broken heart.
· Do not tell someone that everything will be okay, at that moment everything feels that it will never be okay, respect that.
· Do not suggest they get another pet to replace the one they just lost; would you tell someone that another person can replace the person they just lost?
· Do not tell someone to keep busy; keeping busy is not at the top of their agenda; grieving is exhausting, respect that.
· If you are not sure what to say, it is best to keep silent and to just be there for your family member or friend. Give them a shoulder to cry on or hold their hand. Sometimes less is more.
Losing a pet for many is extremely traumatic. You have lost your best friend. A big hole is left and trying to regain hold of some sort of stability seems daunting. You do not have to do it alone. If you are ready to go forward, I am available to go on that journey with you.
In short, I truly care.
Helen